and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
