he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
