I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
