I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
