we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
