Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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