So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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