he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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