let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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