i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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