if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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