I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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