Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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