i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
