I think my vagina is haunted
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
