We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
