No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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