If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think im going to throw up on grandma
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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