In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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