break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
