they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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