Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think my moral compass just broke
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