wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ttyl tear gas
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
