Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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