u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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