just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize