I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
