Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize