I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
