do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
