I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
