just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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