I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As shirtless as possible
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
