Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i came on her dog
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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