I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
