He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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