Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
