she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
