I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
