hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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