Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
