It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
