Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
