Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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