My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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