You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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