wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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