You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
