I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
