so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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