I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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