dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize