after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
