we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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