I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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