Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
