I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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