some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
