yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
