I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
