i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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