And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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