your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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