it hurts more in the daytime
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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