He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
