do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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