just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
