i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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