I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
