dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize