Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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