would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize