dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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