i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
