I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
