you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
