Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In other news, I just burned my penis
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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