i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
