I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize