i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You can't special order awesome
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just gargled with NyQuil
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
