Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm really busy with my period
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