yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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