I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am one with the molecules
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
