you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
