This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
