chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
