I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
