i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
