yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
