How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
