I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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