Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
